My son, Dylan, was born in 2001 with Down syndrome. Picture somebody pulling the rug out from you in one sentence: "Your son has Down Syndrome." In that second, there are a lot of reactions; there's a lot of fear. It's like you had tickets to Italy and ended up in Holland. All of the sudden, you're in a different country and in a club that you didn't necessarily ask for admission to. Michelle Smith
She said exactly what I have been feeling lately. Don’t get me wrong, having a son with Autism is a gift. I am honored that God chose me to be his mom. I can’t imagine him not being in my life. He is amazing and brings us so much laughter and joy that I sometimes just start laughing and can’t stop.
Like one day this week, the UPS man dropped something at my front door. I was in my office on a conference call and could see him get in his truck and he turned back at the house and was laughing, not just smiling – he was laughing out loud. When I went to grab the package I saw why. Micah had put a note on the door that read “ENTER – IF YOU DARE”.
Often times though we feel like we’ve been sucker punched, sometimes it's just emotional, all the time it feels like it's just too much. We don’t know how to handle situations, so we do the best we can based on the knowledge and information we have…and hopefully with the wisdom that God gives us in that moment.
I am struggling with giving him coping skills and balancing that with my desire to just put him in a bubble. He needs to learn how to function in this world. Others need to learn how to function in a world with Autism, young and old.
It may be condescending to say but unless you are a parent of a special needs child, you have no idea what it’s like to raise one. God gives you extra grace, extra mercy, extra love…just extra. We need it. We need it to get through the feeling of being sucker punched, the emotions, the feeling that it's all just too much. We need it because others don't understand why you do the things you do, why you treat your child differently.
I need it to get through feeling like I'm in a different country and in a club that I didn't ask for admission to - I need His grace to give me hope.
Oh you fill those who are empty
And rescue those in the valley
And through it all you calm my soul
Oh now you find me in my weakness
And heal the wounds of my heartache
And I worship you in spirit and truth
And you open the door for me
And you lay down your life to set me free
All that I am will serve you Lord
And you open my eyes to see
All the wondering all of Christ in me
Jesus you're everything I need



